It's two weeks since my darling Jon passed away, and his passing was"beautiful" if a passing can be described that way. He was right there with me until his last breaths, the hospice couldn't understand how he could be so aware at that point. I arrived in the middle of the night, told him I loved him and he nodded to me.....he made me smile even at that point, he had an imaginary cigarette, and was "smoking" it, I put an unlit one in his hand....he "smoked" it, dropping the "ash" over the side of the bed, then threw it away......it was like "that's it, I'm done now". I talked him through it all until he took his last breaths.....just before he passed he grabbed my hands in his and held on tight. This was to me, unusual as it had been me holding his hand for the last few weeks, he didn't seem to have the strength to "hold my hand" for the last couple of weeks. He held my hands and took three last breaths, then my darling was gone.
So that's why I think his passing was "beautiful" he was never unconscious at any point, he went on his terms as he has done all the way through this whole nightmare. I am SO proud of my darling, he never at any point, felt sorry for himself. He was desperately worried about the effect this was having on me, but never himself.
During his illness Jon was a major part of a DVD that the hospice made along with other sufferers and carers to promote the work the hospice do. We had a premier at a lovely hotel where he was given an award for his part in it, it was a wonderful evening! The DVD is now going to be shown throughout December at our local cinema during all the advert breaks between films, and donation boxes will be available. I cannot tell you how proud I am of my wonderful man.
This is my darling Jon with his beloved greyhounds, these hounds kept him going throughout his illness. Boss is the black and white one, Tilly is the black one.
Sadly we lost Boss in July and he went on to Rainbow Bridge, he has been waiting for Jon to arrive so they can continue their walks together. Tilly and I will carry on best we can without our soul mates until our time comes.....
This is the family showing just how proud we are of our darling man, at the Hospice DVD premier.
Christmas 2013 with our lovely grandchildren...happy times!
William John Roberts, (known as Jon) 1948-2014. There has never lived a more wonderful man, funny, loving, gentle, proud, at times stubborn lol, brave, courageous and he was my soul mate....
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Goodnight my darling, walk slow and wait for me......love you always and forever, keeping you in my heart until we meet again. xxxxxx
