2.Treatment under way..

The combination chemotherapy is under way, four cycles of twenty one days, two weeks on, then one week off. I was very apprehensive as to how this would affect Jon, I spent quite a lot of the time watching him, just in case. I sound sooo paranoid and to be fair, I was! And the reason for the paranoia? I was so scared at what was happening to my darling husband. I had to try to "save him" at all costs, not much has changed in that respect except I am slowly becoming aware that there is nothing either of us can do to stop this disease.
One thing that I thought caught us both out was, the steroid factor! Before Jon was given his treatment, he was given some anti-nausea medication and also a strong dose of steroids. The steroids had a very profound effect on Jon's appetite, so much so, that nothing in the house that was in any way eatable, was safe! I have never seen anything like it.
The first dose had the most effect, the appetite, but also, he could not sleep for the first night....just sat up wide awake eating! I find that very amusing when I think of it now.

Some days during the chemotherapy weren't too bad, on the whole Jon had a reasonable time as regards side effects, fatigue being the worst.
Right at the beginning of the chemo treatment they gave us an alert card, this was to get in touch with them immediately if certain things happened during treatment. When given this, at first, I panicked a little.....why do they need to give us this? what terrible things could happen?
Time went on and treatment ended, by this time Jon was looking and feeling tired, but not as bad as we might have expected.

The first after treatment scan came in and it was looking good, and we were told that maybe, just maybe, Jon could get a couple of years now..... so the next treatment was planned, Radiotherapy.
Another unknown to make it's way into his/our lives.
Jon has taken all his treatment in the most positive way possible, I wish I could say the same for myself! I cannot tell you just how proud I am of him, he is an inspiration to all around him. During all this time,we talked so much, about treatment, about life, about us and how all of this was affecting us. Our children were also on our discussion list, they have been outstanding in their support for us as a couple, and my children have been so much help to me.

One thing I can say, my love and respect has grown so much more ( never thought my love could grow anymore than it already was!) since watching this man, the man I love, take on this battle.
I sometimes sit alone, thinking about the future, my future when I am no longer part of this loving couple, no longer have my soul mate here with me. To say it terrifies me is an understatement, I hate the thought that one day in the relatively near future, I will be alone. Tears have flowed, lots of them.....also anger, anger at the world, anger at everything. Then I reach deep inside and give myself a good talking to. I will never be alone as long as my heart is beating, he, my Jon, will be right there. That is all I need to get myself together and carry on helping my lovely man continue his fight....and by god, together are giving this damn thing a run for it's money!
The radiotherapy passed without too much to upset us....the main thing being the burning of his oesophagus and again, fatigue. The burning was helped by medication prescribed by the oncologist, it soon passed when treatment was finished. Jon also has a fair sized burn on his back from the radiotherapy, but as far as I know it has never bothered him. It's his badge of honour for getting through yet another treatment. I was pleased that  it was over, Jon would get a break from treatment and have a chance to recover as much as he could do.
Now we get to the "limbo" time of waiting to see what happens next .....